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Writer's pictureGeorgia Fevang

Being Present During Pain: Why This is So Important

When I was young, I dealt with an unreasonable amount of anxiety. An anxiety that children shouldn't be burdened with when their minds are still exploring the ins and outs of life. Most of the time it manifested itself by having separation anxiety whenever I wasn't with my mom. School, sleepovers, bedtime, etc. You name it, I got anxious because of it. For years my parents struggled with trying to find the magic solution to this, and it took a toll on them too. It was incredibly difficult for them to watch their child suffer with little relief. That time was a big obstacle for us, but not big enough to overcome us.


As a 20 year old adult woman currently writing this while at her on- campus job, I can look back on my experiences and see why we couldn't find an easy fix, or really any fix at all, for years. We were so focused on trying to find a way to change how I was feeling that we didn't think about the actual feelings themselves. We just wanted an easy exit; a quick escape. But after years of trying to find a needle in a haystack the size of the ocean, it became apparent that we weren't going to find what we were looking for this way.


Rather, we tried something different.


We decided to embrace the discomfort. Welcome the pain with open arms, and invite it to be present with you in that moment. Let "the pain monster" (Its 9am, this is the most creative I can be I'm sorry) know you aren't going to fight it, but instead allow it to be with you. Let it get on the bus so to speak. Don't let it drive the bus, just let it have its space in the back. This kind of tricks your brain into thinking that these feelings of distress are okay and just there for the time being. Pain doesn't always have to be this excruciating ordeal. No, its never fun, but it is necessary. Our lives are a pendulum; we swing back and forth between happy moments and sad ones. That's how energy in the universe works. When we try to deny ourselves of that motion, that scientific chemical reaction of emotion, we are suffocating ourselves. We're disrupting the flow of energy within us and it's reeking havoc.


You have to learn to let yourself feel. The repression of negative feelings is only going to make them stronger. Learning to be okay with not being okay is so important when it comes to recovering from whatever has taken a toll on you. Being human is being hurt, but its also being happy, mad, silly, jealous, excited, heartbroken, and tired. No singular feeling is permanent, and when you stop fighting and let the pain just sit within you for awhile, you'll realize most of the discomfort you were feeling came from the resistance, not the pain itself. In all my personal experiences, I found that once I let the monster on the bus, it didn't actually want to stay long. Like a wave, pain can come in intense and strong motions, but it will also retreat until its harshness is but a memory.


Remember the same kind of energy seen in sunlight and storms is the kind of energy that lives within you. Let it rain and pour, then let the light shine through. You are forever capable of making it through every storm and painful moment; just remember the pendulum will swing back, and happiness is awaiting you on the other side.



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